There is nothing that cannot be met, there is nothing that cannot be embraced. Yet in the mind and in the body, remnants of pain, suffering and residue of past hurts and wounds bubble to the surface, challenging my capacity to meet life and accept all the things that I judge as being imperfect. Yes, I am a work in progress, yes, I fail at love sometimes, yes, I feel like a failure sometimes and yet I stand in the world with all these problems and wonder how can I be loved in the midst of all this?
Yet I am.
But how, is it possible I wonder? I don’t know, right now I am too far gone in my mind and in pain as it bubbles up to the surface challenging my resilience.
You see, my son in his passage into adult life stumbles. The prices of rent soars ever skyward as the youth of our world struggle to make ends meet and question the ways of our changing world, I find myself stumbling too.
My quest to forge forward wanes. My business and my capacity to hold my ground is now met with an emotional collapse that threatens my ability to be present. What do you do when you are in the grip of negativity, but fully, completely be with it?
Yes, it’s one thing to speak words of positivity, but it’s another thing to walk an authentic truthful journey. There are so many things that can be said, so many programs to take, movies to watch, inspiring books to read and perspectives to take on. Yet, what is it that rests in my heart? What is it that matters most? It’s when these core truths are integrated that things begins to shift.
The intense feelings, the emptiness, the aloneness, the heaviness, these challenging emotions are signals. Whilst the likely inclination is to avoid feeling, the wisest response to these feelings is to give them fullest attention. To bring them into the heart-space without distraction of any kind. To welcome them with a state of receptivity that would honour one’s beloved. Softening to them. Simply observing them as we would a baby in need.
You see, it is not control and resistance that brings us the fruits of life, it is inner surrender to what is that does so. It is about allowing and opening to life that welcomes in the new. If a seeking to control what is felt is occurring, if a seeking to manipulate and coerce life so that one can force one’s own agenda, it's because life isn’t being trusted. At these times things have a funny way of reflecting back the same lack of trust.
When an opening to what life wants occurs, when there is receptivity, embrace, when judgement dissolves, change welcomed, a meeting of the flux and flow, welcoming of vulnerability, then that’s where expansion begins. That is exactly when consciousness is made available to a universal power that operates through all things.
Most people are shy of embodying their fullness and avoid the flux and flow. Most people assume life shouldn’t include the negative, uncomfortable and dark moments. Actually, dark moments engender one’s capacity to forge the intensity of presence and resiliency needed to weather the adventure of living.
Each of us are being invited to embody all of life in order to be whole. Not just what we please.
Most people are petrified of fully feeling the complete depths of pain, which is why there is a madness that has gripped our planet. Disagree? Then jump online and google the last mass shooting, rape or terrorist attack or mining on indigenous land. For what could possibly cause such a separation to drive a collective insanity?
We could instead make peace by taking full responsibility for our share of pain. This begins here and now with acceptance of the fullest breadth and width of emotion, of every thought and the entirety of what it means to be alive today, inclusive of fear and joys. Only then can one connect to the fullness and sacredness of life.
It is not wrong to experience what exists, if we are feeling it, it means life is signalling something to be aware of. To accept it brings peace. Life is always offering that which is intrinsically designed for our fullest evolution. For every single thing in life is biologically driven to evolve each and every one of us.
At times, I catch myself and find I’ve missed precious moments of life. Noticing this is a great step. It proves pivotal in getting to questions that support a shift. What’s really going on? Is it possible I’ve shutdown somewhere?
Then begins the process of deep listening. A practice that quietens the mind. That engages me honestly and attentively to the body. To welcome every sensation.
Deep listening rests the mind. It opens us up to the subtleties and nuances of life to become viscerally available. It builds awareness that expands consciousness. It develops a spaciousness in which resilience can be found.
In listening there is a stillness that buoys the spirit. A stillness that bears powerful gifts that are available to us the moment we choose it.
Rumi a famous persian poet once wrote:
“While you go searching for trinkets, there rests a treasure house in your own being”
Deep listening reaps such rich rewards and creates a veritable shift. It’s what helps us notice and cut through the fog of unnecessary thoughts. Even in the efforts towards growth, we can get caught up in yet another task to do. Wanting to tick off to do lists and mistakenly assume that our worth may be related to what we have or what we do. When we are not listening we can become flustered with things don’t go according to plan.
Deep listening is a beautiful antidote. It reveals that the biggest shift is made inside. That we can start exactly where we are. It’s not necessarily about ticking off lists. That we can tune in to life through our skin, bones, organs, belly, heart and our very marrow. With the entirety of our being.
Listening reconnects us with the truth that we are part of an incredible field of vibrance revealed as we open. An opening that is the result of grace.